Creating My Dream Life.

When I was first diagnosed with autism and schizophrenia, I thought my life was over before it even began. Everywhere I looked, I heard the same things: that people with schizophrenia spend their whole lives in and out of hospitals, and that autistic people can’t contribute anything meaningful to the world. I believed it all for a while. I thought maybe that’s all I was ever going to be.

I won’t lie, I definitely struggled. There were times I felt hopeless, like the world had already decided who I was. But I refused to give up. And over time, I learned that my diagnoses weren’t a death sentence. They’re just a part of me, not all of me.

Now I look at where I am today, and I almost don’t recognize that hopeless version of myself. I’ve been working as a bakery assistant for a full year. I’m engaged to the love of my life, Andrew, and we just bought our first house together. I never thought I’d be able to say those words. Sometimes I stop and look around at my life and think, I actually did this. I actually made it here.

People still carry their own ideas about what I can or can’t do. There’s still stigma. But the truth is, I am capable of more than anyone ever told me. I’ve proven that to myself again and again. It doesn’t matter if you’re autistic, mentally ill, or anything else people try to label you with, you can absolutely still build a life you’re proud of.

It’s been ten years now since my last hospitalized psychotic episode. Ten whole years. I used to think I’d never make it that far. But here I am- thriving, building a future, and actually feeling excited about what’s to come. Right now, I’m mostly just looking forward to my wedding and everything that follows after.

If I could tell anyone who feels the way I once did just one thing, it’s this: don’t let anyone else decide what you’re capable of. You’ll be surprised by just how much life you can create, even when the world tells you otherwise.

-Cindy.